5 Recommended steps for a successful relationship

Published: 20th June 2008
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5 Recommended steps for a successful relationship



Can be it based on calculated risk alone that couples face a very good successful relationship? Does a loving successful relationship just happen? Are couples that encounter a successful relationship doing things differently than those people in not so successful relationships?

Following, you will see some action steps you can take for a successful relationship in your life.





ACTION STEP 1 : SELF-KINDNESS AND KINDESS TO OTHER



Take the time to think and ask yourself some key questions. How do you go and advance through your day? Is your focus often on what you don't like in yourself and what you don't like in your partner? Or are you focusing on the positive quality of yourself and the positive elements of your partner? How often do you share your kindness with others and your partner?





Your partner however, has the highest priority when it comes to sharing your kindness. A key component in successful relationships see couples treating one another with kindness. These can be kindness gestures such as kind actions, kind words, looks of kindness, show kindness in listening and display kindness in thoughts. For most people it is some what tougher,, regularly, to try to keep under control your partner through anger. Some what tougher, generally to have control of your partner through blame and criticism. It is often also more difficult, generally, to pressure your partner by withdrawing herself and making judgment. However, it can be far more easy for most people regularly, to be kind and this continues to be far more important to display this for the relationship to work.







ACTION STEP 2 - YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOURS - WHAT TO DO WITH THEM



In a successful relationship you will see people manage their feelings and not dump them on their partner. If a partner feels angry and hurt, the better choice would be to look toward himself rather than the other. If depressed and troubled look to yourself and not your partner. If you find that you have resentful and guilty feelings examine yourself. In a lot of cases people look within at their own thoughts and behaviour that may be causing all other feelings. You do not want to end up being a victim of your partner's choices and actions in the relationship. If your partner knows you well then she or he should be able to detect certain things in you and try to help. This calls for your partner's honesty and love for you in doing so. Nevertheless, it can be up to you to at the end of the day to deal with your feelings and not freely abandon your upsets onto your partner. Sharing your feelings with your partner may make the world of difference. Even more so if your partner continues to be contributing to the feelings. This should help somewhat. Adopting responsibility for your feelings whether it continues to be your partner causing them or not would be to advance external help and advice. If it is your partner, approach your partner and ask for help if not being dealt with. If it is you causing your own feelings pursue to seek out advice from external sources and of course look within. This can be managing your feelings with responsibility rather than throwing them back at your partner.





ACTION STEP 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY



Time management and management of space are seen in successful relationships. People take responsibility of their time and space in a way that benefits themselves and their partner. Both usually appreciate each other for this organizational respectfulness. Time is often made to talk with each other about whatever. Time is often set aside to resolve any conflicts that they may have between each other. Managing time also in terms of playing with each other and making love to each other, Time with the children and their needs are seen in successful relationships. Time for daily household chores and as well as employment work. Relaxation is also a key part of organisational responsibility. The main point of all these organisational activities can be that the couple get to know each other better. If the approach however, is, more often than not, one of compliance, one of pressure and resistance then the relationship in effect, is subject to fail. Their respect and care of their mutual living spaces and priority of kindness to each other gives a better chance of the relationship lasting.







ACTION STEP 4 - TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR FINANCIAL RESOURCES



In successful relationships couples take responsibility of their finance. Responsibility of their financial resources in terms of benefiting themselves and their partner. Successful couples tend to think before they spend their own money. This is usually if there can be an mutual understanding of the household budget of what needs to be financed. So for example, food, utility bills and others in order of a functioning home have a set budget. Mutual agreement also in who goes to work and or who stays at home. Partners in loving relationships do not decide upon themselves to just give up work and become dependent on the other person. Financial decisions are made in such a way that causes the least amount of stress for the partner. The budget can be decided upon and then stuck to. In that budget can be also room for treating herself but still within general consent of the other. This is adopting financial responsibility.





ACTION 5 : LOOK AFTER YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING



Adopting care of your physical health can be another key action step for a successful relationship. Loving couples care so much for themselves and each other that they strive to care for their own health. It is a mistake for so called loving couples to behave in such a way that their partner continues to be concerned about their wellbeing. Unnecessary risks with health are a No No in the relationship. Your well-being could be affected by anything that causes harm to your physical body and your mind. Premature illness in effect, is unacceptable for a partner if clear actions could have been taken beforehand. In a loving relationship between two people a partner would not want the other to feel the pangs of this type of grief and possibly loss. A loving couple will look after their health which gives less worry on the partner about their well-being.



So in all, successful relationships don not just happen by chance but effort and thought is invested. Being kind to yourself and partner helps. Managing your feelings in a responsible way also is often crucial. Managing your time and space as well as responsible financial management will contribute. Finally, but not necessarily conclusive, how you go about looking after your health and well-being.



Tony Peters is an independent writer

http://www.aboutsuccessfulrelationships.com




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